Kyle and I realized in church yesterday that in September it will be nine years since we started dating. Almost a decade of our lives have been devoted to each other and trying to figure out what life together actually looks like. It hasn't been until the last year that things feel like their slowing down and falling into place. I suppose that's the beauty of life, you never know what God has planned for you.
Fun fact, we actually got married twice. The first time was in 2011 - about a week before Kyle deployed. It was a small ceremony with no more than 15 people in attendance. I think most people thought we were crazy. We had spent the last three years long distance and hadn't been in the same place at the same time for more than a month.
The second time was a few months after he came home from deployment. Our vow renewal was an opportunity for everyone to meet and to move forward with our lives outside of the Marines. It was also an opportunity to tell each other our hopes for marriage and to promise that we'd always find a way to stay together. I don't know that I realized then what I was actually saying.
Think about it. When we get married and say those vows, we're telling the other person that we choose them. That every day we choose to love them no matter what. When I was in a car accident 11 months after our vow renewal, everything changed and I realized the importance of wedding vows and what it means to say that to someone.
If I had never got better, I honestly don't think that we'd be married today. Chronic pain does something to someone and it affects everyone around you. I wasn't in a good state of mind. I honestly believe that had I not get better that I'd be living with my parents, divorced and on disability and that's the saddest thing to me. It wouldn't be because my husband left and didn't love me. It wouldn't be that I didn't love him anymore. It would be because he was 24 years old and I couldn't allow him to take care of me the rest of my life like that. It was the first time I questioned my vows and only because I loved him that much.
Not everyone with chronic pain gets a second chance. I'm blessed to be able to do life with my best friend. To come out of a dark place and see how our relationship has grown in Christ and together. I'm blessed that I have a new appreciation for health and fitness, but also an understanding and compassion for those who live in pain everyday. For caretakers and the life that they give up to take care of the person that they love. For marriage, what it represents and how beautiful it can be when God is at the center of it.
Vow Renewal: Karrah Kobus